I hope they call me on a mission....

8/29/2019

I have been thinking about this for weeks now, that I should write my feelings of recent and upcoming events. As it is sometimes difficult for me to write without sounding extra dramatic, I will do my best. I just popped another Justin’s dark chocolate peanut butter cup in my mouth and laughed when the thought came that I should buy Cozette several bags of these for her journey to Brazil.

That’s right, Cozette is leaving for Brazil in four days. She is ready. She went through the temple last week to receive her endowments and yesterday we drove down with the intent of doing another session, but traffic had a different idea, so we did initiatories instead, then went up to the Celestial room. As I was sitting in there with her, I thought, Yes! This is what joy and rejoicing in your posterity feels like. That must be how I am feeling every day when I cry a little bit more than the day before as her departure date creeps closer: Joy. I am so proud, thankful, sad, already missing her, excited and nervous. Heavenly Father knows how I am feeling and reminds me that he loves me and that she is doing the right thing. I am like Hannah in the Old Testament, giving her child to God to serve Him. What a gift! It still is the hardest gift to give. I guess this is a little taste of what Heavenly Father must have felt, letting his son be sacrificed for all of us. Watching him suffer when He is so perfect. I know my child is not perfect, but she is pretty dang amazing. I know she will be obedient and she wants to give her all on her mission.

She asked Jeremy the other day when he was giving Father’s blessings, to bless her with the ability to put “both feet in the mission” and to not be home sick. She has so much faith and trust in a loving Father in Heaven. I know she is doing the Lord’s will and she will come back even stronger because of it. I am so grateful for this. I am so thankful she wants to share the gospel with people. Here at home, or when she is at work, she is not super outgoing, but I know she will learn and “become” more than what she is while serving the Lord.

To all the parents out there, sending children on missions, I know what you are going through. No body warned us about how hard this is, but even if they did, I don’t think it would’ve mattered. It is something that can only be experienced first-hand, and boy, am I feeling it. I am thankful for the opportunity to grow as well, to hopefully be better myself and to share the gospel here, while she is working to share the gospel in Brazil. I look forward to her letters each week and her phone calls and I hope I won’t cry every time. God be with you til we meet again.